All of the changes brought on by the COVID-19 Pandemic only fed the feeling of the walls around us closing in and turned that “a bit cramped” feeling into a raging pile of human heat building pressure to the point of near explosion. My husband began working from home, where I had already created my home office, turning our bedroom into his office, my office, my craft room, the gym, as well as a catch-all storage area with a tiny pathway leading around the bed to the bathroom, closet, and to each desk. We lost the ability to use my heavy bag for its intended purpose of relieving my stress and my fuse became shortened with everyone. Then our oldest, who had only just begun attending school as a kindergartener was forced to become homeschooled and my fuse became shorter still. We were on top of each other. We were all performing separate tasks in a disorderly manner scattered about our tiny space with a toddler under our every movement. It quickly became too much even for the toddler.

While we had been eyeing the market for a while, we began our serious search for a home in mid March of 2020. There was a home that was nearby Aly (as in Or so Aly says) that we had been monitoring for near a year. The price of the home starting at more than $100,000 over our anticipated budget. I noticed that the price had dropped to just $10,000 over what I had calculated our comfortable affordability to be and we perked up quite a bit. We got in contact with the lovely realtor who had assisted us in our rental search months earlier and began the process of touring and applying for loans and first time home buyer assistance and the price dropped into our original range. Though we were unable to physically tour the home prior to putting in an offer due to COVID-19 restrictions, our realtor facetime toured the home for us. It was an older home that was not very aesthetically pleasing but the size and the proximity to Aly made it the one.

April, 29th 2020 we closed on our starter home. At 2,980 ish square feet with 5 bedrooms and a fully fenced in backyard, on May, 6th 2020 our festering pile of human discontentedness was able to release pressure without volatile eruptions. My husband and I each created our own office/studio spaces, we have a room suitable for guests. Our sons still share a bedroom for the time being, but our bedroom in no longer a catch-all. Our gym has expanded. The children have their own living room space separate from ours. We have a room we call the “multi-purpose” room where most anything goes. I still have a tiny kitchen, however, I am okay with this.

For a starter home, this is huge. I anticipate the unwillingness to downsize when it comes time to move which means we will likely spend more than we recently did on a more forever type home. This is fine. Everything is fine. For now. The only thing, other than a large kitchen, on our wish list that was not obtained was an in ground pool. It probably was the right move to not have one quite yet with such small children at home but one day we shall have all of the things on our list.

I am just grateful we no longer have nowhere to go to cool down when the togetherness tension begins to amplify.

Hello, my name is Hailey, and I procrastinate.

When the site went live I had big expectations of myself to post at least one new article a week to keep the page flowing and keep it from hitting the back burner. That was a great idea. I lacked commitment to the follow through.

Over the last few months, there have been a ridiculous amount of things that I could have been writing about. My brother came to visit and we got tattoos together. I took my children to Florida, as I do, for their summer fun in the sun with family and friends, we stayed for a month. I planned, with the help of the amazing Mr. Aaron, a surprise adventure to the Florida Aquarium for My Best friend Missy and her daughter that included my big sister, her husband and daughter, myself and my children, an overnight in Tampa, and a trip to clearwater beach the next day. I went on a cruise with Aly, her husband, my husband, Britt (my big sis), and her husband, to Cozumel. I took my husband to see Twenty-one Pilots, a show we had been waiting for for almost a year since the tickets were his birthday present last year. I shaved half my head again. The children and I went back to Florida to visit for just another week before Boogie started Kindergarten because he missed his Florida people. We went school shopping. I got my first speeding ticket. I won my very first ever pair of tickets from the radio. My husband missed that show. I fought with carpal tunnel for the first time. My Boogie boy started Kindergarten, We threw an impromptu birthday party for one of my favorite little girls. We booked our next cruising adventure. I started a new semester. I booked another croupier gig. I am using a new app to earn pocket money. I started playing Pokemon Go again. I got a Costco membership, that ones a doozy. Aly and her husband found a real life possible solution to our business plan struggles. Danielle’s dog had surgery. Mushu’s tail rot caused part of his tail to fall off an now he is in much better spirits. Boogie’s first sick day from school is today.

So many things in such a short period of time, and yet, I haven’t written about a single thing. I felt that this article should be mine and that I should push myself harder moving forward. I may do that. I may fall short again. The only person I am letting down is me. I know that.

Let’s see where this takes us. Shall we?

A barn. In the middle of the woods. College Station. Its a frat party. Oh boy.

Cases upon cases of beer, dozens of boxes of wine, some white claw, bottles and bottles of cheap liquor, coolers, hunch punch. Tonight will be crazy. Not to mention that we are legitimately in a barn that was recently painted for the night, in the middle of the woods, in the rain. YAAAYYYYY!!!! I should have worn my boots.

The first order of business is to complete set up. There were so many tables. I begin to set up my table with all of my different colored chips in their nice neat stacks of twenty. They won’t stay this way. I now that. Especially with the amount of booze that I have seen here. Frat brothers are showing up dressed for a fancy party. As they arrived they would stop in front of the Texas A&M photo backdrop located near the entrance. More attendees were arriving every minute, there were people in fancy dress, club wear, and wacky wear. I need to step to the restroom.

I used the restroom, the hot, smelly, not very clean restroom. It was so hot and muggy in the barn that I had to peel my pants down in order to use the toilet. I finish and head for the sink. There is no soap. Okay, this is yucky. There is no way to dry my hands. Bleh! =/ I’m not having a blast yet.

Guests step up to my table, they are very unsure of what they are to be doing. They buy in for the colored chips that allow me to differentiate between individuals who have placed bets on the table. The first several chips on the table are in the basic spaces, black or red, even or odd, so on. When I begin explaining the pay outs involved in placing riskier bets, and the guests are well over the legal limit of consumption, the table gets interesting.

The wheel is spinning, my table is full, 29 BLACK! we get a WHOOOOO!!!!! accompanied by a god knock into the table. The carefully stacked colored chips waterfall in every direction. I knew this was going to happen. At least the people at my table are entertaining! Several of the gentlemen hold conversations through the game and I am constantly reminded of my brother and his friends who are about the same age as all of the guests here tonight. The air is filled with the stench of juul vapor and hard liquor. I am having fun at this point because these fools are hilariously intoxicated! Their reactions to both winning and losing are over the top and exciting! What started out as a rough experience has become one to remember.

A couple of hours late my table has begun to clear a bit. There is a guy who is very out of it standing at the end of the table. The person next to him one a payout of 35 to 1 on a straight-up 31. With his extremely animated excitement, his drink went flying all over the table. That wasn’t the worst part of it though. . .the very out of it guy I mentioned was standing in the whack zone. As the winner’s hands went up, one hit the guy and he began to vomit. Some on the table. There are no paper towels. What do I do? How do I clean this beautiful hand crafted table before Boss man sees it. Oh I know! Let me use my clothes. That was disgusting. The smell was awful. I smelled like I had crawled into the cooler of hunch punch came out and smoked an entire case of juul pods, the mango kind. Ugh.

I moved on. I had hand sanitizer near by and I scrubbed as much of my arms and hands as I could. The table didn’t look half bad. Cool. There was to be a raffle for a new cooler for those who had earned enough to redeem for tickets. So things began to wind down as people cashed their chips in. There was a raffle, somebody won the cooler!

The event is over and its time to break down. There are three of us dealers who remain to complete this task. I am unable to lift a whole lot still since my surgery and the other two were not going to be able to get everything loaded up in a timely fashion on their own. Very much to my surprise, Fraternity brothers are way more respectful and helpful, even when drunk, than I thought they would be. Several of them helped us load the trailer so we could be on our way. I was pleased.

Trailer loaded, my feet hurt, we had an hour or more to drive before I could get out of my gross clothes and get clean, but it is check time. This is my first check as a croupier for Blue Label Casinos LLC. I open it up in the car on the way out of the woods to find that there is a lot more than I expected. I only worked two event and I earned how much??!!!?!?!?!?!

Despite how interestingly tonight went with all the gross and all the smells, it was a lot of fun to people watch all the trashed college crowd. I really do love this gig! I cannot wait until the next event!

My oldest is five years old as of recently and my youngest, two. For the last four years, my mother is who made Easter happen for my kids. She lived in Florida, but even when we didn’t travel to her for the holiday, she made Easter happen for them. In light of recent events, this task has fallen to me.

As I was franticly rushing to the one retail store that I can safely say I despise, I was trying to come up with some sort of game plan. Our apartment complex had an egg hunt which loaded my children up with enough candy to last for months, so I didn’t want candy, just a chocolate bunny for each. I wanted to be practical and strategic in my shopping for them. My mother was the best at finding unconventional, yet practical, alternatives to the traditional basket receptacle. I thought maybe a backpack for Boogie since he starts school this year, but I wasn’t sure what for Ton Ton. I checked backpacks. All they had for little boys were Paw Patrol. Boogie has moved well past that phase. Back to square one. I gathered a few other things. An outfit for Boogie and a pair of pajamas for Ton, hooded character bath towels, and a chocolate bunny for each. Then I got the heck out of there because I loathe that place.

I then began to panic. I had never done this before. Was I even headed in the right direction? I called on a professional for help. ;]

My father was very encouraging. He assured me that I was doing the right things. He shared what he had done for both my younger brother and my grandmother’s baskets this year and was full of all kinds of helpful hints and tricks, after all, he has been doing these things since my sister Britt was a teeny tiny.

The last stop on my list was Kroger. I needed to get some carrots and greens for the Dragon, as well as some other household staples. I am headed towards the milk when over the loud speaker “Limited time only : all Easter candy on aisle 21 50% off : Limited time only folks! : Thank you for shopping at Kroger.” I couldn’t help but check it out. I grabbed some specialty bunnies for us adults as well as some jelly beans.

I left Kroger and called my father back. I explained that I had spent almost $100 on practical Easter basket stuffings. He told me that it sounded like I had done great and that he wanted pictures. I completely forgot to send the pictures. OOPS! I can fix that tomorrow. Ultimately, the boys had a wonderful Easter and I feel like my mother would be so proud of the job I did. I just hope that I can keep it up over the years to come.

I had a unique experience in January of 2017 when giving birth to my youngest. I had a repeat c-section. The previous one had taken only fifteen minutes and I was in and out of recovery, released from the hospital a few days later. This surgery took more than an hour. The anesthesiologist was pumping drugs straight through my IV to keep me numb, until he reached to maximum he was allowed to give me. I felt a little more than the regular pressures you would feel. My doctor, he requested more muscle assistance to stretch the incision to the appropriate size to retrieve my son from the womb. It was finally over, healthy baby, myself in the recovery room waiting for another room to become available for me to be united with my little one, friends, and family. That evening, we were moved to yet another room, and I WALKED from one room to another. Same day, hours after a spinal epidural and major surgery, I WALKED. After the previous c-section, I was in a wheelchair for thirty-six hours when leaving my hospital room. Walking was not an option for the first twenty-four.

The next morning, they took the catheter out first thing, I mean I was walking the day before, there was no reason to believe I couldn’t make it to the restroom for myself. I was in a lot of pain while trying to maneuver myself to the sitting position on the side of the bed to attempt to go use the facilities that I attributed to having less pain medication in my system than the day before. The pain became near unbearable as I sat there longer. With a walker in front of me for leverage I attempted to stand. . .I honestly thought howling in pain was nothing more than a saying prior to that moment. I howled. The pain was more than excruciating. I was instantly blind, nauseated, and dizzy beyond belief. The nurses helped me back to the laying down position and handed me my poor baby who was howling right along with me. I couldn’t contain my tears. I had no earthly idea what was happening to me. Why couldn’t I walk? I could do it yesterday. How am I supposed to use the bathroom? How am I supposed to feed my baby when I can barely move?

No amount of tests they performed gave them any indication of what was happening. I remained in the hospital being treated by so many different and different kinds of doctors for all kinds of “maybe” scenarios for a week. Upon my release to take y newborn baby home, I was wheeled out to the car where my husband was waiting to bring us home. I lived on the second floor of an apartment building. I crawled up the stairs to get to my two year old at the top who couldn’t understand why his mommy was crawling and a new born baby who was crying and confused. If my mother wouldn’t have been there, I don’t know how I would have made it through the first few days of near immobility at home with a new born.

My mother left, I came up with a routine of my own and a few weeks later my big sister came out to Texas to stay with us and help me for a week because it was still hard for me to accomplish a lot of things on my own.

I went t the doctor about two months after having the baby because I had this lump that didn’t seem to be getting smaller, or shifting back into place like all of my other insides. It appeared to be getting larger. The doctor did an ultrasound to check me out and decided that there was “nothing out of the ordinary” happening here and it would shift in time. I went on with my life. My abdomen hurt all the time. I felt a ripping sensation when I stood up. I sought a second opinion. All she did was look at me and refer me to a surgeon. The surgeon sent me for a ct scan to confirm that I needed to see him. He never got the results from the scan but all he had to do was look at me to know exactly what was wrong with me. I had a ventral hernia in the left side of my abdomen. This type of hernia happens simply from a weak spot in the muscle wall being pushed through. In my case, the weak muscle wall had spawned from not being able to walk after the c-section. I had been unable to do a lot of things that would have helped those muscles to restrengthen after pregnancy the way they should have.

So we knew what was going on at this point. I was in a great deal of pain around the clock because of the pressure and weight of the hernia pulling me forward and to the left constantly. The surgeon then tells me that I am not a candidate for surgery due to my weight. This is why keto.

Finally, February 2nd, 2018, I had lost the fifty pounds required and I was having repair surgery. At this point, I looked as though I were pregnant with twins, only it was a single sided pregnancy. (I try to laugh now.) We were under the impression it would be a four hour outpatient happening. . . that was foolish thinking. After six hours of laborious surgery, the surgeon, as white as a ghost, finds my husband in the waiting room. He informs him that he had placed twenty-seven inches of mesh in my body. He did not look or sound hopeful when he told my husband something along the lines of “I hope this works out for you.” I was inpatient at that point. I stayed in the hospital for a few days and then came home to the care of my dear friends who have put up with so much medical nonsense from me that I am eternally grateful for all that they did and do for me. Danielle brought me home, Alyshia took the next two days, then Missy and her toddler spent the next week here from Florida caring for me and my children. After the first three months I could lift five pounds. Six months gave me the ten pound freedom. it was ten whole months before I was able to hold my baby, not so baby anymore, again.

I am still in recovery a year later. I still wear compression pants to keep the pressure from being too much on those newly developed muscles in my abdomen. There are days that are easier than others. I essentially have been forced to regrow those muscles. Over time it is happening.

I can hold, snuggle, carry, and chase my kiddos around again. Though I must take it easy still, I feel amazing compared to even the day before surgery. The pain is still quite intense at times. I fight back tears a lot. I am just happy to be alive and able to do the things that a year ago, when I was told twenty-seven inches, I didn’t believe I would be able to do ever again. Though I will forever feel certain things differently and probably have some pains that will travel with me through my life because of the amount of foreign object in there, I’m here and recovery is HARD!

A shout-out to the incredible surgeon! He gave me back to my family, gave me my life back, and gave me hope for a full recovery one day.

We go to Party City to see what they have. Strawberry birthday cow in tow.

We wander through the Party City and find no Octonauts decorations anywhere. I then tell Ton that I want him to go down the aisle with all of the kids party themes and decorations. There was Elmo, Mickey, Super Hero, Emoji, even Slither.io decorations. The only thing to catch his attention is a tiny plastic recorder with Goofy on it which he put in his mouth therefore we had to buy. (if I had emojis available in this text editor, this would be where the face palm would come in.)

We decide we shall look online and go to the check out line where both children run amuck, naturally, grabbing impulse items and candy as if they were the ones making the buying decisions and Mom and Dad were ready for this nonsense. Two people ahead of us in line and that is when he saw it. . . The Super Bowl decorations. Ton dropped what he had in his hand and went straight for the super bowl section. There were football balloons and whistles, referee and goal post balloons, ribbons and football field accessories. He had made up his mind. We were to have a Game Day style birthday party for our two year old, the day before the super bowl.

I baked a cake, Gramma stye, and formed dark chocolate into the shape of a football and applied white chocolate laces for the topper. I enlisted Aunt Yellie to assist in the making of trash snack mix. We had several expected attendees who live the vegan life, so I adapted a few recipes to accommodate. I hand cut football shapes out of vegan gingerbread cookie dough and made vegan royal icing to adorn the balls with laces. We had charro beans and fresh vegetable trays, pretzels, chex mix, and hummus. It was quite a spread.

I purchased decorations from amazon. We had tablecloths, cups, napkins, plates, snack tubs, an a banner that all matched. My hubbs picked up balloons day of. We got the footballs and the referee that originally got Ton’s attention at Party City. Party favors consisted of miniature foam fingers, stress relief footballs, smiley whistles, and game day themed coozies.

To top the whole thing off, we had a Jacksonville Jaguars game playing on the television for the duration of the party. =]

I had not idea that we could fit twenty-seven humans in my little apartment, but we did. No one felt cramped either. It was nice. There were seven children playing in the kids room and I watched for a bit as they were systematically taking every toy out of its respective home and placing it on the floor. It didn’t matter so much though. What mattered to me was that Ton had the best second birthday party he could imagine.

I’m pretty sure that was accomplished.

The plan was that I was to take a nap once my husband got home from work. Then, when I woke up we were supposed to head out on our venture to Florida to give my mother a wonderful family filled holiday feast to remember. Alas, the plans fell through and when my husband arrived it was eat and load up, lets get on with the ride. 

Who am I kidding? This is no poem. I had not allowed myself to have any caffeine that day simply so that when my hubbin came home I would be able to fall asleep. I was exhausted to say the least. I have this problem where it is extremely difficult for me to fall asleep in the car also. This was already going to be a rough night. I even started getting agitated immediately when we were loading the car. I was already done with the ride. Poor hubbin had worked all day and expected to drive a bit and then have me take over. That is not exactly what happened. When the time came where he couldn’t do it any more, we had made it to Pensacola, we still had about six hours to go. “Okay, maybe I can do this. I feel pretty good about it.” I drove for an hour and a half before I was “seeing ghosts” on the road. I was hypnotized by the road in the middle of the night. I pulled into the nearest rest stop and everyone, including my hubbs who had only been asleep for about forty-five minutes, woke abruptly. Fueled my rage at this point, he took the wheel once more. I felt worse than terrible but I knew that I had done the right thing. I couldn’t risk all of our lives on the road like that. =/

Another thing that was hard on the journey to Grammy’s/Mom’s house was that any time anyone else in the car would get comfortable, our less than two year old would troll the crap out of us. We would look away from him, he would scream, I would lay my head on my pillow in hopes of a few moments of decent rest and the second my head hit the pillow, screams. He didn’t want food, drink, music, just attention and no doubt to get out of that wretched car seat. 

At some point, I’m not really sure where, I did take the wheel again. This time the sun was up and the kids were awake and we weren’t heading much further east so we were very close. That always fills me with the adrenaline to keep going. Then I could see the signs for the I10 I75 Junction! only an hour-ish left! YAY!!!!

We finally arrived at Grammy’s house. We were ready to give her a great holiday filled with family and excitement. First, the hubbs needs sleep! haha. Missy was so excited we were there she headed my way at once equipped with caffeine to help me get through the day, there was no sleep in sight for me. I was hoping that my beautiful sister and her wonderful family would show up  later that day, however it was Britt’s birthday and she had to work a full shift. They wouldn’t have arrived until near mtwo in the morning had they attempted to make the journey. My mother wanted to go to the store, so, that is a thing that we did. We put the children back in a vehicle and Missy, my mother, and I hauled them off to walmart to complete our last minute Thanksgiving shopping. That trip to the store felt as though it was never going to end. The children just wanted to get out of the cart and run around like heathens while us adults just wanted this to go quickly and smoothly. The rest of the day is kind of a blank for me. I was so tired. I do remember that my mother had prepared one of the best slow-cooker roasts I had ever put into my mouth for dinner that night. MMMmmmmmm My mouth is watering just thinking about it. 

The next day, Brittany, Alex, and their amazing daughter Ramona arrived in the afternoon. The cousins make a team for sure. I like to call them Ri-Mo-Ton. Kind of a play of all of their names and it goes in age order. They all love each other so much and I love it! I wish they were able to see each other more often, but that is a topic for another day. Brittany and I took to the kitchen in preparation for the feast to be had on the next day. ThanksGiving.  We had a mostly traditional menu, turkey (two different kinds, Brittany’s was better by far than the store bought), mashed potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, broccoli for picky children, rolls, gravy, canned cranberry, then there was the non traditional side dish, a gourdfull lasagna of sorts. For desert we had a caramel apple upside down cake and a pumpkin spice pound cake with a maple butter glaze. The feast was a success. Even hours later when we all piled into the kitchen for that traditional late night plate of leftovers, we were reminded of how awesome all of the food was. 

My mother had enjoyed her ThanksGiving. She has her kids, their kids, and didn’t have to do any of the cooking. The last part made her a bit nervous, but she got over it and enjoyed that part too. 

Friday morning was here and it was time for me to report to my father’s house for his non-traditional ThanksGiving a day late. I was there at seven AM to help prep the sauce for the day’s menu. We were having homemade sweet and sour chicken and shrimp followed by a decadent pumpkin spice cheesecake in honor of Brittany’s belated birthday. I thought for sure that Friday would be awesome! It was! After prep was complete, I headed back to mom’s to pick up the hubbs and the children to bring them over too. I couldn’t bring myself to drag them over with me at six thirty in the morning.  When my brother emerged from the shadows at the end of the hallway, I was a happy lady! I thought I was going to tackle him. If I didn’t feel like leading by example was a real thing, I likely would have! I love my brother and like that we have a relationship as good as we do.

Anyway, Missy, A-A-Ron and their kiddo came to enjoy the day with us, My mother, Brittany, Alex and Ramona came a bit later. I could tell you about the adventures of black Friday shopping with Daniel and Missy, but I will just say that they were happy they brought me with them, (they didn’t even know it was black Friday until we were very near the store.) 

After dinner it was time for my hubbin to head back to mom’s and take a nap. He was reluctant. I got there and managed to sleep for about two hours. Missy, A-A-Ron, Daniel and I took the three munchitos to the park to try to wear them out. We had an interesting encounter with what appeared to the untrained eye to be a child snatcher, we didn’t stick around to find out. The hubbs arrived back at dad’s to pick us up near nine fifteen and we were off. Headed back to Texas. This trip was not near as hard as heading to Florida was. The children slept most of the way and I was able to fall into a sound sleep for a couple of hours. Hubbs went to sleep when we got home and life went on. 

I am so glad that we got to take that short trip. We had a fantastic week filled with family, friends, all people who we loved and loved us back. Everyone had a great time. The drive is always hard but well-worth it.  Brittany and I experienced being in charge of food stuffs for the feast and got to spend some quality time together. Mom was happy. That is what was most important about the whole thing. After all, the adventure was truly for her anyway.

• Final exams. . . All three in the next week and a half. I am very nervous! It is no easy feat to take on a full plus course-load while you are chasing around two children under five and maintaining a home, a part time job, and a social life. I am not patting myself on the back here, I know there are people out there who have a lot crazier lives than I do and are getting it done. I am grateful that I have it so “easy.”
• Planning the next semester. This ordinarily wouldn’t be an issue for me. In most cases I would have already done this and be ordering my books about now so that I could just enjoy the break. This time  is a wee bit different. I can’t sign up for my next required classes until I have completed the ones I am currently enrolled in with a D or better. (I have As, I think I will be aright, it is the waiting that gets to me.)
• Holding my social status. I have been invited to be Aly’s date to a wedding this coming Saturday, to be Danielle’s date to her office holiday party on the 6th of December, another couple of awesome people have invited me to their annual holiday party on the 8th, I plan to attend all of the above but I’m not entirely sure how all that will will work. I don’t even have the proper attire for the wedding or the Office party. For the other I could show up in my underwear and no one would care. lol
• I have several Croupier events coming up. I believe that between now and the 15th of December I have four events, possibly five depending on how my finals are scheduled. It is a really good thing that I love this job! I only wish that I could sign up for more events. It just hasn’t worked out that way lately. 
• Decorating. Here lays a struggle. For years we have done this one way, a simple way that has always seemed appropriate for apartment living and doesn’t overstep into uncomfortable territory as far as my husbands views on the holidays, yet takes everything magical away from what the holiday was when I was a child. Our four year old is trying to wiggle his opinions in this year and I want it to work without upsetting his father. I would love to put a little magic back into it. (I’m always sad about Christmas. No one does Christmas like my Mommy and I just want to share that magic with my family but my husband doesn’t feel the magic at all.)
• The Lists. I make a list of all of the people I need to think about this time of year. I list the potential gift ideas, potential stores to find teach of those gifts, the people who I need addresses from, the food items i need to prepare, the everyday tasks that become lost in the hustle and bustle. I make lists upon lists upon lists. In fact, if you haven’t already noticed, this list has several smaller lists embedded in it. I am a mess. Currently working on my stocking stuffers list. I know I will end up filling my own so careful thought and consideration has gone into that one. =]
• Obtaining said gifts and getting the things that need to be mailed in the mail on time. This is the busiest time of year for the postal service! I myself have a list of a ton of gift that must be sent out on time to far off places. I’ll get there. = ]]]]]
• The stress. The Holiday season is supposed to be a magical time filled with cheer and joy, yet it is also very easily the most stressful time of year for so many people. It is easier to say that you won’t let the stress affect you than it is to really not let it. It can affect you in so many ways. I guess you can say that this site is a way that I destress from time to time, I make lists that map things out for me, and I write my thoughts down if I am nowhere near my computer. I carry paper and something to write with at all times. . .also a deck of cards. I’m a mess. (I also have a 100 lb heavy bag that kept me great company during the holidays for the first four years I lived away from my family in Florida. I asked for a stand for that thing this year because I NEED to beat it up badly!)

Okay, I think we all understand the busy busy busy. I have talked about it quite enough I think. I now need to go get started on one of my many lists. Oh boy.  Happy Holiday Preparation to all!

It is time.

My kids will have a well-rounded meal. Breathe. I am ready to go. Breathe. My ride has arrived. Breathe. We are late. Panic. Where is the event? No one is answering their phones. Panic. Found it! Breathe. I have a vest. I found my table. I sit down. I people watch. Breathe.

The first gentleman sits down and hands me a voucher for $5000 worth of chips. No problem, I can do this. Three purple, two orange, ten black equals $5000. That wasn’t so hard. He makes conversation. He doesn’t really know how to play. This is easy enough conversation. All I have to do is explain what I know and we go from there. He places a low bet, I deal cards, no problem. House wins! The first gentleman leaves the table after  few more hands are dealt. The next few guests find themselves seated before me now. I begin to deal and begin to question my hand motions from one end of the table to the other. My blue nailed right hand serves it’s purpose. Awesome. It was an appropriate choice to help. I deal several more hands making sure to follow my own lead from black (left) to blue (right) one the deal and blue to black on the take and pay.

The first blackjack is dealt. Everyone at the table hoots! Not only are the guests enjoying themselves, but I am having fun! This is great. My table is the first one full. I deal, we laugh, we make conversation, everything is running smoothly. I LOVE this job! While my table was the first one full, my table also is the first one to be empty. My math was pretty on point. I only mistakenly did not pay out once. The guests were friendly and kept the spunk alive at my table. I can’t wait for the next event, which is great since I work again tomorrow. Tomorrow I deal Roulette!

This year these thoughts are particularly difficult for me. The three of us ladies have had some very unexpected and trying things happen and come up over the course of 2018. All of us have had urgent health and or lifestyle happenings. Unfortunately we are pretty spread out geographically speaking. This is hard because through the past few years I feel like the three of us have come to be nearly as close on a day to day basis as we were around that table during the month of October all those childhood years. 

I had to honor these thoughts this Halloween. My youngest is still a little too young for many of the traditions, in my opinion, however, I did encourage his help when it came to decorating the patio, he was able to stick his fingers into the pumpkin guts and enjoy the ghoulish glow of the finished products. We had our own monster mash dance party in the living room. I even tried to help him create his own apple monster. When I turned my head, he took a big bite out of his apple. . . So there went that. =] The three of us had a lot of fun making paper towel and lollipop ghosts with spooky faces. I would have loved to make caramel apples, I never learned how to do that part without mom’s help. The boys are both still a little too young for popcorn balls unfortunately. I’m not even sure either one of them could eat one if I made them on my own. 

I shared these projects via pictures and phone calls with both my mother and my sister, it isn’t quite the same as doing all these things together. Maybe one day all three generations can get together to create Halloween like we did growing up. That would be the most amazing experience I could as for my children and beautiful niece to have. 

Our Halloween 2018